my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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