Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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