when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Randomize
