I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize