you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize