All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Randomize