Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Randomize
