New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Watching her eat just hurts me
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Randomize
