weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
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