Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Randomize
