how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
