Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
