I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize
