I'm lost and stupid without you.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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