Small penises have feelings too.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Randomize
