i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
