i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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