...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
