I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
