The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
