Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
