i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
