i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
