My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
