Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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