NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
