There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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