does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize