i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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