If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
