their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
