i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Randomize
