So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
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