the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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