if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
