Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
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