11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize