So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Bang-toberfest begins!!
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
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