Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
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