YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Randomize
