he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
