therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
