OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
