so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
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