East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Randomize
