Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
i want to swaddle you in tequila
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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