Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Randomize
