I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
