Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
