i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize