Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
