TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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