Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
