in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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