oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
