turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
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