Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Randomize
