In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I love how my cats smell like pot.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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