Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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