It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Randomize
