Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Randomize
