dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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