Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
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