Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
