he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Randomize