he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
i've created a new STD.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
