I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
did you just send me my own nude
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
