Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize