Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
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