i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Randomize
