No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
