No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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