Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize