I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
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