somebody snuck up and got me drunk
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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