we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
