He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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