I must be too annoying 4 u.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
